


It's Called Freefall

by bisexualgambit



Category: Alpha Flight
Genre: Sibling Bonding, Suicidal thoughts (brief), birthday trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualgambit/pseuds/bisexualgambit
Summary: About 25 kilometer outside of Yellowknife in the Northwestern Territories there’s a small cabin tucked away on the edge of Great Slave Lake. There’s nothing out of the ordinary about this cabin. It has three rooms, a front porch, and a dock on the water. It sits vacant more often than it is in use, but other than that, it is completely unassuming, and in the Northwestern Territories there aren't a lot of people to be making assumptions. Tonight, however, the cabin is occupied, and its inhabitants are anything but ordinary.The Beaubier twins take a trip for their 21st birthday, and make a pact.
Relationships: Jean-Paul Beaubier & Jeanne-Marie Beaubier
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

About 25 kilometer outside of Yellowknife in the Northwestern Territories there’s a small cabin tucked away on the edge of Great Slave Lake. There’s nothing out of the ordinary about this cabin. It has three rooms, a front porch, and a dock on the water. It sits vacant more often than it is in use, but other than that, it is completely unassuming, and in the Northwestern Territories there aren't a lot of people to be making assumptions. Tonight, however, the cabin is occupied, and its inhabitants are anything but ordinary.   
Jeanne-Marie didn’t usually use the Alpha Flight safe houses for personal reasons, but Jean-Paul had convinced her to take the trip out to Yellowknife. It wasn’t every year that you turned twenty one, and it definitely wasn’t every year that the northern lights were going to be on full display over Yellowknife on your birthday. Jeanne-Marie had to remind herself that it wasn’t like other Alphans didn’t use them for romantic weekends and hunting trips. Jean-Paul had used the safe houses across Canada often, his own personal pit stops when he was flying or running, even using them a few times to escape from Alpha Flight themselves. It had been awhile since he’d been to one of the safe houses, it’d been a while since he’d been well enough to travel. He’d been through treatment after treatment to manage his HIV, and had yet to find an antiretroviral therapy cocktail that worked, but the latest treatment seemed to have promise. Honestly, he wasn’t feeling great as it were, but it was a far cry from the constant hacking cough and the exhaustion and ache that had previously afflicted him, and not even that could stop him from being here with Jeanne-Marie. He’d missed out on enough birthdays with his twin sister.   
“You know for the fastest woman alive you sure do take a long time to eat.” Jean-Paul said from across the table. He’d finished eating minutes before, he sat with his arms folded and legs crossed, waiting for Jeanne-Marie to finish her own meal, and Aurora rolled her eyes.  
“And for the fastest man alive you sure are impatient.” She retorted, Jean-Paul scoffed and shook his head, “I like to eat slowly, I can actually enjoy my food that way. You know brother, you don’t always have to use your mutation for everything. Gluttony and Pride are just as much of a sin as Sloth.”   
“Oh well then I guess we’ll just have to tack those on to the list of reasons why I’m going to burn in Hell!” He said, and Jeanne-Marie looked at him in shock.  
“Jean-Paul!” She gasped. She could tell by his smile that he only said it to provoke a response out of her, which was all the more irritating. “Perhaps you should go for a walk if I am taking too long to eat.” she said, each word sharp, reminding her brother not to be fooled into thinking that her polite and quiet demeanor made her any less deadly. Jean-Paul let out a quick breath through his nose, scratched his neck, and vanished, not bothering to close the door behind him. Jeanne-Marie sighed as the air filled the space that her brother had just been sitting in, the wind it created causing the fly aways from her bun to tickle her face. Silence filled the air and it was then that Jeanne-Marie realized she was all alone in the wilderness.  
\----  
Jean-Paul returned about fifteen minutes later after a relatively short flight, deciding that the two of them shouldn’t let their clashing spiritual beliefs ruin one of their first birthdays together. He landed on the front lawn, determined to apologize to Jeanne-Marie. However, when he went inside, Jeanne-Marie wasn’t there.   
“Oh hey! I was wondering who I was here with!” Aurora said, coming out of the bedroom, wearing lingerie “looks like I guessed wrong!” she said, disappearing into the room again. Jean-Paul let out a yelp and quickly covered his eyes.  
“Tabarnak! Why on earth would you even pack that for this weekend!” Jean-Paul whined, as Aurora returned in regular clothes  
“I didn’t pack it! Walt loves to come to the Yellowknife house. I keep this in the closet.” she said, “if anyone understands the importance of that I’m sure it’s you dear brother.” she smirked. Jean-Paul glared at her silently, letting out a huff. “Oh come on, it was a joke.”  
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” He said, suddenly reaching up to scratch at his neck and letting out a huff.   
“No, but to be fair, you never look like you’re laughing.” she smiled. “If it’s any consolation: I originally wasn’t going to wear anything at all.”  
“Wow, that makes me feel so much better. Thank you for that.” He shook his head, as if to shake the last of the image from his mind and started again, “You know it’s gonna start getting dark soon, we may want to get in the boat.”   
The two of them had planned to row out into the lake around sunset to watch the Northern lights on the water. Heather had told them how magnificent the lights were not only when they were in the sky but also reflected in the water, that she and Mac did it all the time, and it had been absolutely breathtaking. Despite being her namesake, Aurora had never seen the northern lights before, she’d spent most of her life in the city under the cover of lights that would dim the phenomenon and she’d honestly spent more time looking at the ground than anything else. Jean-Paul has seen them before while skiing in the backcountry, he told her about how it almost felt like he could reach out and touch it. She’d seen plenty of pictures and wondered what it would be like to finally see in person.   
They called Heather to let her know they were heading out on the boat, or rather, Aurora called Heather to let her know they were heading out. Jean-Paul didn’t see why he should have to check in with Heather about he whereabouts, he was an adult who could take care of himself, so rather than listen to their conversation, he decided to go down to the dock and start preparing the boat for launch. Aurora joined him only a minute later, zipping from the cabin to the dock in less than a second  
“Hey once we’re bored of these lights wanna go find a bar?” Aurora asked almost immediately, climbing into the boat. Jean-Paul huffed again.  
“No- What’s the matter with you? Neither of us can drink because of our medications.” he spat out, mostly irritated at being reminded of the ways he could be spending his birthday.  
“We’re turning 21! In America you get black out drunk on your 21st!”  
“And I count my blessings everyday that I am not an American.” He said, he felt his bitter anger rising in his throat. He scratched at his neck, huffing in irritation, untying the boat from the dock. “Are you ready?” He asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice.  
“I was born ready.” Aurora said, unenthusiastically. The pair pushed off as the sky lit up brilliant reds and oranges and yellows as the sun began to drop below the water, stopping only when the shore was no longer visible. It felt strange, the Beaubier twins were no stranger to being surrounded by Big Sky, but it wasn’t often that they were surrounded at sea level.   
“Why did we do this?” Jean-Paul asks as the sun slips further and further under the water, the sky dimming, only to start to shimmer again, the northern lights beginning to slip across the darkening night.  
“Why did we do what?” Aurora asked,  
“Why did we think this was a good idea. We can barely stand each other and we thought it was a good idea to come out here? In the middle of nowhere? Just the two of us?” He sounded so angry, but looking at his face, Aurora could see the sadness in his eyes. “You should have come here with Walter instead, that way I could at least have spent my birthday alone.” But Aurora knew being alone was the last thing Jean-Paul wanted or needed. She suddenly realized that, despite the facade, despite the Olympics and the celebrity and the pompous, it was all a show. The truth was Jean-Paul was just as scared and alone as Aurora was.   
“Jean-Paul I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem like I wasn’t enjoying this.” Aurora said, “Actually, this, this is the best birthday I’ve ever had, and it’s because you’re here with me.” they looked each other in the eyes, Jean-Paul accepting Aurora’s apology with a glance.   
“Well, I know I’m not…. The easiest… to be around… especially for you.” He said, and Aurora smiled, it might be the closest thing to an apology Jean-Paul had ever given. They were still adjusting to each other, it was almost funny. Both of them had been alone for so long, it made it hard to be together. They’d only met two years ago, and their relationship was still rocky, but being able to apologize to each other, no yelling or screaming, no insults or running away. Aurora realized this may be the healthiest fight they’ve had. They still had a ways to go, and Aurora tried not to put too much of her hope on one argument, but as the northern lights flooded the sky, she thought maybe she’d never have to be alone again. Of course, as peace enough does for Aurora, it did not last.  
Jean-Paul scratched his neck again, and this time Aurora could see why. Tucked carefully under his shirt collar were red and painful looking wells. Jeanne-Marie reached out without thinking, moving Jean-Paul’s shirt collar for a better look. Jean-Paul sucked air through his teeth at her touch. She couldn’t see where the hives stopped, but she could tell they seemed to follow the alignment of his spine.   
“Jean-Paul,” she said concerned, but he stopped her before she could finish.  
“It’s a side effect of my new medication,” he explained, “Michael said the hives should go away in a couple weeks, apparently they’re a pretty common side effect when you first start.”  
“Do you have any other side effects?” Aurora asked, her whisper seemed impossibly loud in the unbroken silence under the endless sky. Jean-Paul breathed a joyless laugh.   
“My tongue tastes like blood, my joints scream every time I move, and I keep having this recurring nightmare where Logan rips my intestine and all I can do is watch. But other than that no.” He laughs again, this time more genuinely, he’s eyes fixed on a point far from where the twins sat. “Beats the alternative though.” he said, and Aurora knew exactly what he was saying, she’d watched how quickly it had gone from a cough watching him on death’s doorstep, knew how many friends Jean-Paul had lost to the disease so far. She also knew what it was like to have the one of the only things standing between you and your own destruction being a pill. It was a different pill, with a different destruction, but nevertheless she understood. She stared up at the sky, watching the lights that named her dance over her and Jean-Paul’s heads. She thought about how beautiful they were, and how fleeting. She wondered if in naming herself Aurora she had sealed her fate. That she too would shine spectacular, but only temporarily, that soon the dawn would come and she’d fade away.   
DID and HIV don’t have cures. There wasn’t a whole lot that anybody really knew about either, not a whole lot of people looking for answers, but that was one of the few things Aurora understood. No matter what, they would carry these for life. Even the good days were shadowed with the fact that anytime Jean-Paul could get sick, or Aurora could have a breakdown. Managing both was a day to day struggle, and Aurora couldn’t speak for her brother, but she was exhausted of struggling, and she feared that even if Jean-Paul wasn’t mentally exhausted as she was, he may physically exhausted himself.  
“Do you think we’re gonna make it?” She asked suddenly, trying not to let the emotion seep into her voice. But Jean-Paul couldn’t be fooled, he whipped his head to look at his sister, her eyes welling up with tears. He seemed to consider what she was saying carefully for a moment, watching the night sky dance.  
“I don’t know,” he said, “honestly, I don’t know.” he was silent for a moment, staring up. Aurora watched the reflection of the lights in his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. He looks at her, a sad vulnerability in his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder if there’s even a reason to try.” he said, He looked down at the floor of the boat, swallowing hard.   
“Jean-Paul-”   
“- I would never kill myself. It’s just- it’s messy and I'd never be able to sit down and write a note and… but… I don’t know, I’ve just kind of accepted that I’m going to live fast and die young,” he smirked, and let out a short laugh, but it was not a humorous one, it was a bitter one. “So I take these pills and I think ‘why am I doing this?’ you know? Because I’m in pain every day, and sometimes it feels like all I’m doing is prolonging my pain. So I think: Why am I still doing this?” Aurora could feel tears falling down her face. Jean-Paul had never been so honest about his pain, Aurora didn’t think he’d ever been so open before, she’d never realized just how much pain Jean-Paul kept to himself, afraid to show weakness.   
“I get that.” She said, “When I was… still at the school… and the nuns would lock me in the chapel. I’d pray for a reason to keep going.”  
“So what did you do?” He asked, stretching his neck again, he couldn’t hide his grimace this time, and Aurora tried to hide her own whence. It was hard, seeing Jean-Paul in pain like this.   
“Whatever I could to survive.” She said, “I’d make up a lot of stories to try and think about something else, pretend I was someone else.” She looked at him, a knowing look in her eyes, Jean-Paul nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was excruciating listening to her talk about the Hell she endured, to remember, as much as Aurora and Jeanne-Marie fought with him and with each other, they needed each other and protected each other. “Sometimes I’d pretend I was a princess. I’d remembered some fairytales I’d read when I was younger, and I hit all the main points: I was a lonely orphan locked in the tower, obviously I deserved a prince! And I’d imagine him as his tough and strong guy, who would move heaven and earth just to make sure I was safe and happy. So I’d tell myself my prince would come, I just had to wait for him.”   
“What would you do when he didn’t come.” He asked  
“Eventually he showed up.” She smirked, and Jean-Paul rolled his eyes.  
“Walter is certainly attractive, but I wouldn’t call him a prince.” he snarled, Jean-Paul had been originally charmed and dazed by Walt, but when he realized his true colors, Jean-Paul began to worry for his sister, Walt was much older than them, and Aurora hadn’t experienced romance before.   
“Who said it was Walter?” she said, Jean-Paul turned to meet her eyes, the look in them familiar. It was love, but not the kind of loving look he’d gotten from boyfriends past. No, this was a love that lasted, it didn’t care about Jean-Paul’s pettiness or rough edges, it was a love that fought tooth and nail, but at the end of the day, it was above all else the only thing that mattered.   
It was a love made to survive.  
Jean-Paul wrapped his arms around Aurora, while the two stared at the sky. As if she was reading his mind, Aurora broke the silence of the night. “We’re going to make it.” She said, smiling up to the heavens.   
“How can you be so sure?”  
“Well, I’m not, but how about a deal?”  
“... I’m listening.”  
“We’re 21 now. From now on we are going to do everything in our power to LIVE. Right? I’m not allowed to kill myself, you’re not allowed to burn yourself out. That’s how we make it.”  
“Sounds exhausting.” He said, Aurora went to yell at him before seeing the smirk on his face. She sighed, and kept going.   
“Well then, if we get to be… 35 and we’re exhausted then i’ll shoot you and you can shoot me, deal?” she said, sticking out her hand.  
“Deal.” They shook on their future under an endless sky, with no clue what the future held, expect that they had someone there to have their back.


	2. Epilogue

In the heart of Ottawa there was a hotel with a fancy ballroom. It has a large dance floor and a bar and was well known as a place where Canadian’s rich and famous liked to throw their parties. Tonight, it’s packed with Alpha Flight and other high ranking Canadian officials in their formalwear. Who are all here to celebrate one thing.  
“Hey, has anybody seen the twins yet?” Heather asked, Michael, Mac, and Walter all shook their heads. “What the hell they said they’d be here by now!” She sighed, looking at her watch, then turning to find the source of the footsteps coming down the hall. It was Kyle, dressed for the occasion but missing the two guests of honor.  
“Hey,” he greeted as he entered their circle, using his phone to wave hello,“They’re still on their way.”  
“Where the hell are they?”  
“Don’t worry, they know they have to be here by 9 or I’ll kill them.”   
“Nine?! The party started at 7! It’s almost 9 now!!” Walter blurted out, earning a less than friendly look from Kyle.   
“You guys have known the twins how long and you still expect them to think the rules apply to them?” He sneered. Kyle didn’t often make petty comments, but since marrying Jean-Paul, he had to admit, he’s cynicism for Alpha Flight had seemed to rubbed off on him, he didn’t stop there either. “I mean seriously, it took me two weeks of working for Jean-Paul to know this: A room full of Canadian politicians in formalwear to celebrate his birthday? You’re lucky he’s showing up at all.” From his hand Kyle’s phone lit up again, “i gotta take this but- they’ll be here! Go enjoy your party!” He said, striding down the hallway and asking the caller how Sweden was this time of year.   
But thousands of miles away over Great Slave Lake the Beaubier twins were swimming amongst the swirling lights. The lights must have heard their oath all those years ago and decided that they also wanted to see what would become of the wayward twins who’s troubled relationship had ripples the water on the lake decades ago.   
Aurora dipped down to the surface of the water skimming her hand through it as she flew, no longer afraid of any part of her power or herself. She could almost picture herself at 21 sitting in their boat. She had known she could be better, but she hadn’t known just how messy the inside of her head had been and still was. But fourteen years of putting in the effort, of therapy, medication, and dozens of treatments to see what would stick had proved themselves. Perhaps not effective all the time, but certainly Aurora felt, ironically enough, Aurora and Jeanne-Marie weren’t the same people as that day either. They’d had a decade to learn to trust each other and protect each other, there will still certainly days where getting out of bed, trying to function like a “normal” person felt impossible, she’d learned to accept those days too. Didn’t owe the world anything, she especially didn’t owe them normal. She had Jean-Paul to thank for teaching her that lesson. She watched him rocket into the sky and free fall until just before the surface and chuckled. As much as she had changed and grew, Jean-Paul had grown as well, in ways that surprised even her. Aurora thought about that day on the boat, would she have believed it if she told her young self that she was thriving? Her polar opposites finally able to coexist? Would she have believed that not only does Jean-Paul have undetectable status right now, but that he’s also married to her best friend nonetheless?   
The sad truth is that, no she wouldn’t have, she hadn’t expected to make it to tonight. She heard a whooping from her brother’s direction and looked up just in time to she her brother crash land into the water. She zipped over to where he surfaced, coughing up water and soaking wet.   
“I do have to say the fact that you’re the flying instructor for Xavier’s is truly concerning considering how often you crash land.” She teased, Jean-Paul laughed along.   
“Hey! There is value in learning to crash land safely!” He chuckled, still treading in the water. “I will need to go dry off though.”   
“Yeah,” Aurora said, checking her watch, “we probably should get going soon anyways. It’s almost 9.” She was met with a groan and Jean-Paul pretending to briefly drown himself.   
Back up at the cabin, The two began drying off and dressing in their formalwear. Aurora chuckled slightly at the running messages coming in from Kyle   
Kyle: May want to think about heading East. Heather looks like she might blow her lid soon.   
Kyle: The fact that you and JP were both interested in Walter at one point has me seriously questioning your judgement abilities. Seriously how does this guy have a PhD?   
Kyle: In good news, I just closed the Delhinie deal. In bad news, I swear if y’all aren’t here by 9 it’s not Heather you’re gonna have to worry about!!   
She send a quick text back:   
“JP is drying off now, we’re heading out soon. He’ll be excited to hear the Delhinie deal went through. Also, both me and JP deserve some redemption considering we clearly have much better taste now.”  
“So…” Aurora asked Jean-Paul, unmounting the hunting rifle from the wall. “What do you say?” They hadn’t actually acknowledged that last end of the pact. Actually, they hadn’t acknowledged the pact at all, the only indication over the last 14 years being an allusion to their 21st birthday on the lake. Aurora had never actually said out loud that the twins had basically made a suicide pact at 21… God, how did nobody see just how fucked up they were? Jean-Paul let out a breath of laughter and smirked.   
“Guns aren’t really my style, least not for suicide.” He scoffed, “Did you bring any poison?”   
“Jean-Paul, I know I’m joking about it right now but,” she sighed and set down the rifle, “I’ve never asked but… that night, did you expect to get here? I mean you said you won’t kill yourself but… Do you still, do you still feel that way?” Jean-Paul definitely did seem happy, but that night on the lake had taught her how often Jean-Paul’s reality didn’t match the image he put out in the world. He looked at Aurora with a smile, different from his usual smirk. It was a soft and warm smile reserved only for her and Kyle.   
“So many years I have gone to bed and lay awake, and I could never figure out what I was more afraid of… That I might not wake up or that I might wake up. I dreaded each day for so long.” Jean-Paul looked around thoughtfully, a genuine smile crossing his face, “I think I want to see where tomorrow takes me.” Aurora smiled, straying across the room, sitting with Jean-Paul and taking his hand.   
“Yeah, me too.” She said, it felt nice to have closure, to move into the next chapter of her life, especially knowing her brother had her back and she had his. “We better get going, Kyle is texting me that Heather is about to blow a gasket, and he’s going to back her up if she does.”  
“We better get headed for Ottawa then.”  
“Hey.” Aurora asked, once they were on the front lawn, ready to take off.   
“What?”  
“I’ll race you.” She said, a mischievous smile crossing her face. Jean-Paul let out a bark of a laugh.  
“Oh you are so on.” And with that they boomed off into the night, leaving only ripples on the calm lake where they had made their pact so many years before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on the epilogue and for my atrocious spelling/grammar, I hope none of that has effected your enjoyment of the story though!

**Author's Note:**

> Found this well I was going through my WIPs folder. Going to write an epilogue coming up but I wanted to post this before I got to in my head and convince myself not to.


End file.
